January 26, 2018

A Bizarro cartoon this week reminded me of the Fry Day email of May 17, 2013 when I realized I was "Grumpy" in Nancy's back window.

I guess Ozzie has passed away.  His niece shared the photo above of Ozzie's Music on El Cajon Blvd.  I see a '58 Ford and a '66 Mustang in the parking lot, so that's about how old it is.  Click HERE to read some Ozzie's memories previously submitted.

I forgot to share the Golden Anniversary Pacer from January 18, 1968 last week .  Click HERE to read it a week late.

An obituary for Tom Ault ’63, who passed away December 15th, appeared in last Sunday’s Union-Tribune.  Click HERE to read it.  A memorial service and celebration of life will be held today at 1:00 at the Village Presbyterian Church in Rancho Santa Fe, 6225 Paseo Delicias, Rancho Santa Fe, 92067.

William Frederick “Fred” Luschei ’69 passed away January 16, 2018.   A Celebration of Life Service will be held on Sunday, January 28 at 2:00 pm in the auditorium at Skyline Church, 11330 Campo Rd.  Click HERE to read the obituary.

An anonymous email sent word of the belated passing of Roberta Williksen Carlton ’60 on April 11, 2016 in Texas.  Click HERE to read an obituary.

January 19, 2017

In case you can't read it, this Bliss cartoon depicts a museum diorama entitled "HOMO ERECTUS S'MORE MAKING"

Judith Aminoff would like to buy or borrow a '63 Centaur.  How you get it to France I'm not sure.  Maybe she'll throw in a plane ticket.  Email her at mzjga@orange.fr

Everything old is new again.  The North Park J C Penneys, where I had my first job (if you don't count my one-day stint as a dishwasher at Aunt Emma's), is slated to become a Target Express.  Click HERE to read an article in the Uptown News.

Remember when there were only two Oscar's drive-ins -- and one of them was in Coronado?  Me neither.  Click HERE to see all four sides of this very early menu.

San Diego attorney Tim Fields '69 has passed away, according to Sandra Slad Sladkey.  I don't have a date, or access to more information about his life.  Sandra thinks his demise may have been heart-related.  

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This week's offering from Paula Kincaid

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If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist and humorist whose mind sees things differently than most of us.   Here are some of his gems.

  1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

  2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

  3 - Half the people you know are below average.

  4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

  5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

  6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

  7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

  8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

  9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend,  But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever.  So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of  the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

36 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
37 - I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.

January 12, 2018

Kris Pruski Wood '70 thought you might enjoy the article about Crawford in the current issue of The Rolando News.  Click HERE to check it out.

A Hoover grad shared a photo on Facebook of her Kindergarten class gathered to greet JFK as he traveled east on El Cajon Boulevard during his visit on June 6, 1963.  I'm sharing it because it's a great photo -- and the original Nicolosi's restaurant is in the background.

A discussion on Facebook about the potholes on Trojan Avenue evolved into a "I grew up there" round robin.  Joe Dyke shared a 1948 photo of himself near the family home on Corinth St.

Ernie Cowan's Outdoors column in last Sunday's UT was entitled "Hiking in Anza-Borrego Desert Is A Great Way to Start the Year."  You might see a "Stick Lizard" (see above).  Click HERE to read the piece and find out what a stick lizard is.

Tom Ault '63 passed away December 15, 2017.   There will be a memorial service and reception on January 26 at 1:00 at the Village Presbyterian Church in Rancho Santa Fe.  A reception will be held after the service at the Rancho Santa Fe Country Club.   Click HERE to sign the on-line Guest Book.

John Bultez ’65 was in a fatal car accident October 24, 2017.  His daughter Brenda Wilson would love to hear from folks who knew him.  Email her at Bbultez@gmail.com

Raymond Hong '72 passed away on December 4, 2017. Some of you may remember my brother as a Cheerleader, tennis player and wrestler -- Lisa Hong Hom ’75

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Lotsa folks loved Paula Kincaid's Ordering Pizza story.  Here's another one she shared.  Be careful -- it involves a blow up sex doll.

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CHRISTMAS DINNER

(This is an article submitted to a Louisville KY Newspaper contest to
find out who had the wildest Christmas dinners. It won first prize)

As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas.  He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them.

What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true.  I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll.  They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart.  I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go, you'll only confuse yourself.   I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?'  'You're kidding me!'  'Who would buy that?'  Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour.  Finding what I wanted was difficult.  'Love Dolls' come in many different models.   The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry.

I settled for  'Lovable Louise.'  She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination.  On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours.  Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom.  I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray.   I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the dog confused.  She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door.  'What the hell is that?' she asked.  My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.' 'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped.  I kept my mouth shut. 'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued.  'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.  But Granny was relentless.  'Why doesn't she have any teeth?'

Again, I could have answered, but why would I?  It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!’

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said,  'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?'  I told him she was Jay's friend.  A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise.  Not just talking, but actually flirting.  It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home. 

The dinner went well.  We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning.  Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa.  The cat screamed.  I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.  Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.  Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse.  We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.

Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health. I can't wait until next Christmas!!!!!!!!

January 5, 2018

Dave Cramer retired last Sunday after 47 years with the San Diego Union-Tribune.  Dave is a '70 graduate of Patrick Henry, but his sister Sharon Cramer Sceper '68 thinks he might have attended Crawford his Sophomore Year.  Close Enough.  Click HERE to read the article in the UT.

My friend Marilyn likes to walk out to the Cabrillo Lighthouse, then meander through the headstones at Fort Rosecrans on the way back to her car.  She sent these shots to me Sunday with the heading "Who Knew? on the photo below"

Susan Taylor ’67 passed away December 14th.  She beat breast cancer several years ago, but contracted lung cancer, which proved fatal.  A Celebration of Life will be held January 15th at 1 PM at La Mesa First Methodist Church, 4690 Palm Avenue

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(I got the following from "Honorary Colt" Paula Kincaid, who is actually a '64 Granite Hills grad)

ORDERING A PIZZA

CALLER:   Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE:  No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER:   I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE:  No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

CALLER:   OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:  Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER:   My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:  According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:   OK! That’s what I want …

GOOGLE:  May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula,

sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:   What?  I detest vegetables..

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:   How the hell do you know?

GOOGLE:  Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.   We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:  Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!  I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:  Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER:   I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER:   I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:   I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:  That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER:   WHAT THE HELL?

GOOGLE:   I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:     Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE:   I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago…